Riverside - Out Of Myself

Music: Riverside
Lyrics: Mariusz Duda
Realizacja, nagranie: Jacek Melnicki, DBX Studio 2003
Mix: Magda & Robert Srzedniccy, Serakos Studio 2003
Mastering: Grzegorz Piwkowski
Production: Riverside

Illustration, Design & Layout: Travis Smith @ Seempieces
Band photos: Sylwia Prach

Riverside:
Mariusz Duda - vocal, bass, acoustic guitar
Piotr Grudziński - guitar
Piotr Kozieradzki - drums
Jacek Melnicki - keyboards

Guest Appearance:
Krzysztof Melnicki - trombone in OK

Imagine that you're trying to do something you'd totally failed at before yet another time. Let's assume however, that you're rather grown up now and it's not just about another attempt at glueing up a three-master model or beating the world record in the 4x100 relay race. Imagine that you're quite a sensitive being and it is all about the so called emotional sphere of life. Still, as far as I know, glueing up a three-master model can be truly emotional business for some.

Imagine then that one day you've decided to have a go at something, the failure at which had driven you into such depression that you lost all the sense of joy in life and even the meaning of it. Why are you doing this? Why are you getting yourself into the same stuff again? This is of no significance, really - think up a thousand of reasons - what really matters is the fact that there is someone or something in your life, someone or something you'd given up hope to ever see, encounter or experience again. But it's happening. And, to use a not-all-too-original metaphor, let's say that you're entering the same river, though they say you can't really enter the same river twice. Well, it's probably true, but you're still doing it and, as some others say, you couldn't care less...

Imagine too, that there is no happy end to the story. For the fact that the ones closest to you wished you all the best and generally it-would-be-nice-if-it-worked-this-time crap, well, you can shove it deep. Yet again, life kicks you straight in the face, only this time the blow is so strong that you choke on your own blood. Another failure. A complete and ignominous failure. A failure that leads not only to yet another depression, but to one of those moments when, sitting on the floor with the initial symptoms of the orphan's disease, you're scrutinizing the good old pendant, wondering if it holds the weight of your body.

Finally, imagine that all of a sudden, completely out of the blue, the whole feeling of hopelessness and dejection leaves you as if by the cast of a magical wand. Just like that. Just as if the failure, instead of giving you a crashing blow - saved you. "Wham" and you're free from the "self" that had kept you from leading a normal life. You feel that you're able to accept your sorrows and regrets, and that you can live at peace with them after all. You feel that you don't have to be afraid of another failure.

This is what the album is about. About freeing yourself from your "darks" and reconciling with them. About taking strength from a failure. About understanding.

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